Noooo Problem

Happy Holidays

2007-12-26T01:49:00Z

Happy Holidays!

And I hope all of your wishes in the New Year come true!

...

Looking At What Is Possible

2007-12-07T01:35:00Z

I asked my mom,” Do you see me as a disabled person?”

My mom said,“ No, look at all that you have accomplished. Even with all of your circumstances you never stop, that is not a disabled person.”

I started to look at my accomplishments and I saw everything I have done. I now get that, yes, my life is inspiring but I too have bumps in the road “disabilities”!

I realized that there is no such thing as a “disabled person” WE ALL have some disabilities, in the form of circumstances, that stop us.

Getting Difficult

2007-12-03T01:32:00Z

I have a hard time typing on the computer now. I can only be at the computer a few minutes at a time. Then take a break and come back to it.

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-27T17:59:00Z

Happy Thanksgiving

Cornucopias, pumpkin pies and canned yams
                Sharing thanks with
                 Family & friends
                   Angelic faces
                  Smiles in lines
      Joy, prayers and gratefulness
                   All Creates
             A Happy Thanksgiving

Good Times! A trip to Hawaii

2007-11-10T20:09:00Z

I am back!!

I know I have not written a bog in a while and I am sorry, but thank you for giving me my space.

I went to Hawaii!! It was all made possible by my loving family Nando, Christy, Diego, Suzi, Bob, and Aunt Tina.

Hawaii was the best experience and I had the best time. I went parasailing! It was the most freeing experience I have ever had! I am grateful. Parasailing is one of the things I have always wanted to do. My mother and I did something special everyday but most of all we enjoyed driving around Maui. My mom got easily lost but she had me as the co-pilot, with a map on my lap we didn’t get lost, and continued our sense of adventure.

This was the first time we have had the opportunity to experience this special time together. We shared many special moments together on an everyday basis. It was refreshing and I was grateful to God for the special moments and that we returned to our home safely to continue this adventurous feeling for life.

My dad joined us for 3 days in Hawaii. That’s when we did more exploring. We shared watching the sunset on the beautiful waters of Maui. Toasted with Mai Tai’s, how blessed we are that we got a chance to experience that together.

After I came back from Hawaii, I went to the doctor and got MRI done and everything turned out all right. The tumor is stable and I am happy.
Thank you for your prayers.
Veronica

Tough Times

2007-10-16T19:53:00Z

This all started four of five weeks ago. The tumor changed, all my plans changed.

The insurance was the most annoying. My mom is the bomb, she was on the phone fighting with the insurance for two whole weeks, she even was on two phones literally 24 hours a day.

I was at the doctors every single day. I was getting tired of it all.

By the time I was scheduled for the MRI I was really tired. I was so out of it I could not even hear my results. I kept thinking… just putone foot in front of the other. But I was feeling like I took two steps back. I started feeling a lack of focus and concentration. My speech was getting worse. I got scared when I felt this happening to me.

I am still scared that it will continue this way.

Veronica's Fund Raising Event

2007-10-11T19:15:00Z

The Art of the Brain

   The Art of the Brain was a terrific event. Dr. Cloughsey and his team are an amazing example of the difference doctors can make today. Brain cancer has taken strides, but it is still a big struggle to treat this disease, and still… we will never give up.

   I was proud to be part of the event; I had my life story painted by an amazing artist, she painted my friend Katie and I when we were younger it is set on the beach with the two of us laying together with butterflies all around us. I had my family with me and I heard whispers about what Kelly had painted. I went to go see it and I immediately went into tears. It was ten times more than I imaged it to be. Emotions welled in me, happiness and this freeing feeling that built up and set me free from my fears.

   I was and I am thankful that the painting touched so many people. I knew the painting would find a home that would appreciate it even though I wanted it. But, towards the end of the evening I got a neat surprise at the end of the Gala. Meritt Elloit, the director of the art shown at the Gala, said I could have the painting and I was overjoyed. Now, each time I see the painting I see my butterfly Katie watching over me! What a blessing!

Words Cannot Express...

2007-09-20T19:36:00Z

Last Thursday, something amazing happened to me. I cannot express my appreciation enough. It means the world to me. So many people were praying for me all at the same time.

I was truly touched and it was a wonderful feeling. I am thankful to have so many family and friends to pray and think about me. Thank you for the strength that you sent to me.

Veronica

Steriods

2007-09-13T20:36:00Z

AddedBodyStart

I
didn’t know what was going on with me. I
would cry out of nowhere, I would scream even if the slightest thing annoyed
me, and if someone touched me it made my skin crawl. Oh my goodness, it was strong.

The
new chemo takes 5 to 6 weeks to take affect.
Therefore, the doctors put me on steroids to help the swelling in my
head go down. My doctors are starting
to wean me off the steroids. Thank God!

...

A Meeting With Artist

2007-09-13T20:34:00Z

AddedBodyStart

There is Gala Event
at UCLA and my doctor nominated me to be part of this event. I am honored and thankful for this opportunity.

I got matched up with an artist who is going to
paint my life story. She is
amazing. Not just the way she paints,
it’s her energy that radiates from her heart.
We connected on a strong level.

Her art show was
in San Diego so I went to see it; this ...

Before the Tumors

2007-09-13T20:32:00Z

I used to go
swimming a lot. It was freeing. The pool
is a place where I can clear my mind. I
was afraid I wasn’t going be in the pool again because of the brain tumors’ affect
on my body.

I declared I would
get in the pool again. So, this semester
I enrolled in Swimming Class. I didn’t
think it will be the same thing but I fell in love all over again. It’s a little bit different but it’s everything
I hoped for. I am ...

MRI - Another Change

2007-08-21T03:09:00Z

MRI

That wait for the doctor… goes on forever … goes on … like the energizer bunny, accept there is no energy and it’s just still. That is how I know something is going on, and I know it’s not good.

The Doctor came in and said there is a change. I, by now, accept that there is change for the time being. I followed my doctor into the room where they have the MRI picture. I saw the growth. Enough growth that my doctor saw fit to change my chemo. I frankly saw the chemo was strong for me (that’s a big under statement). I was glad to let it go, but it also meant the tumor spread.

Normally I would bounce back from the bad news, but this I time could not. I cried or worried nearly every night. One night I was crying, and my Mom, Dad, and Gina all came in to support me (I am grateful for my family). I said I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of the bad news…

I think I store all this pain inside and then I become suppressed with anger at myself and others who are around me.

I am letting this feeling go. I am going to do this in a few ways. One is I am going to sing and dance my way to health.

Send me positive thoughts

2007-08-09T16:56:00Z

This email was sent out to Veronica's special friends. I know that everyone out there is a special friend. All, let's build our posititve thoughts into a force of nature and love.... Kathy

My MRI was today and the tumor has grown. Time for a new plan.

I writing to you because you have been a blessing in my life. So, keep on sending me positive thoughts.

Veronica

...

Losing My Speech

2007-07-03T04:10:00Z

I remember when I lost my speech. I was at University of San Diego and I had to meet my classmates to discuss a project. I came in prepared because I did part of the research. I could not put two words together. I did not know what was going on with me, in lieu of me dropping a pen, tripping, and my notes were running off the page. I knew something was wrong.

It was in between surgery and rehabilitation and I do remember when reality hit me in the face. I had an elaborate schedule for rehab: physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy. My nurses were telling me it was a huge undertaking and I said I am ready. My first day, I could handle me not being able to walk, I could handle me not being able to use both hands, but I could not handle me not being able speaking. I didn’t even finish my session because I was crying. I felt defeated and I couldn’t express myself. All I could do is just cry. Most of all, I was not going to be able fulfill my dreams of becoming a spokesperson on behalf children with cancer.

I asked myself what’s next. I did this before so I gathered strength from God, myself, family, friends, faith community, and everyone who offered me support. It’s going to be hard (hard is the under statement) and I am going do it. I became focused like nobody’s business. I was out of rehab in two weeks. Each morning I was faced with the choice to live or to just hang there.

At the hospital, it was easier because there was a set schedule and were professionals that knew how my speech works. At home, it was whole different story. I was grateful to be home but I didn’t know how to commutate what I wanted. I was crying every day and I was frustrated … ten fold. My frustration turned into rage. I did not want be this way so I went work.

It took a long time for me to get where I am today and I am still working very hard on my speech.

MRI Not As Promising

2007-07-01T03:51:00Z

Last Thursday, I had my MRI done and it wasn’t as promising as I thought. I feel good. I have been speaking well (more than ever). I have been walking better and the motion that is in hand is improving.

It does not make any sense. Get with it, brain!! I feel this is not fare. More so, I am afraid.

I am going to keep doing what I am doing. I am not going to give up or give in.

Keep on praying and keep on sending good thoughts to me.

Swimming and Dancing

2007-06-28T03:50:00Z

I started the summer with salsa dancing, swimming, and walking with stairs. Salsa is difficult because I just can’t move like I used to do: the turns, my leg, and my right arm. I can’t stop because I enjoy it so much.

Swimming was my saving grace. It gives me chance to clear my head. The problem was that I had not gotten into water for a really long time. I was nervous. It’s noooo problem once I hit water.

I’m old pro at walking.

Graduation from Santa Monica College

2007-06-13T19:56:00Z

I GRADUTED yesterday!!!!

At first, it was a hard day for me. Even though, I knew I had accomplished a lot, there was doubt in the back of my mind. 2007 was supposed to be year I graduated from the university. I was crying all morning.

My sister said, “Look at what you’ve accomplished, no one has as much tenacity you do.”(I love my sister). I realized I am proud of myself. I dried up my tears and I got dressed.

I walked out on that field with my head held high. Then, I celebrated with friends and family.

I am proud of myself

Chemo and New Friend

2007-06-04T19:53:00Z

I had chemo, last Thursday and sat next an older man. The man worked at UCLA. We got into a conversation about what people say when they see you.

He said, “I dislike it when people say, well, you look good.” I very quickly agreed because I may look good but I don’t feel good. I said, “I dislike it when people say are you hanging in there?” My answer would be I am not hanging in there, I am living.

There many other topics that we related on.

Then two week later, this man, during chemo, gave me teddy bear with a sweater that said someone at UCLA loves you. I gave him a hug and thanked him. I connected to him and he impacted me and I made a new friend.

I Am Love

2007-05-26T21:32:00Z

I was tossing and turning late last night. I was asking myself: Why I do push away people that I care about? I have been hiding behind this nice personality that I am mean because I am protecting myself. I am afraid, that the people, who do love me, will love me more than I love myself. So, I push people away.

I am committed that I am love for myself and I am love for others.

Good News but Chemo Is Harder

2007-05-21T21:30:00Z

Last Thursday I went to UCLA and got a MRI and got chemo. The MRI went well and the tumor is stable. The chemo was a lot for me this time. I felt sick to my stomach whole time I was there. The whole weekend I felt nauseous.